Many have heard this post-Easter story recently in worship, found in John 20:24-29. The anxiety was high. The disciples had locked themselves in a room, worried about what would happen next. And Thomas was really acting out. We can hear him going off, giving ultimatums about what he would do or not do if he didn’t get what he wanted. He says, “Unless I see the nail marks with my own eyes, I will not believe.”
We can make some loose comparisons to the times when we give anxiety-fueled ultimatums to God. “Oh God, if you will just do this (we can fill in the blank) then I’ll make a commitment – as if faith was transactional. Or we might think of church conferences, like the upcoming General Conference, where it can be tempting to make ultimatums about what we will do or not do if certain decisions are made. Many are experiencing this anxiety right now.
In this light, there are a couple of things to note in this story. First of all, note that Thomas is still there. He stays connected to the community of faith, even with his uncertainty and fears and demands. It is also worth noting that he is not willing to believe what the other disciples believed about the resurrection – not in that moment. But we get the sense that this is okay. He is still there, included in the community.
Secondly, if we read it carefully, we notice that Thomas does not do what he said he would have to do to believe. The risen Christ appears to the disciples, behind the locked doors, and says, “Peace be with you.” Shalom. It is a word that suggest harmony and coming together and it is the first word spoken by the risen Christ in this moment. It sets the tone for what resurrection means for us. And then Christ speaks directly to Thomas. Christ offers to him exactly what he said he wanted. “See my hands. Touch my side.” But there is no indication that Thomas does any of this. He seems to have forgotten his ultimatum. He simply exclaims, “My Lord and my God.”
In this lesson, Christ speaks of those who will believe without seeing. That would be us. Thomas was able to see, but he discovered that faith is not found in seeing or receiving some sterile proof. Thomas comes to believe because of an experience with the risen Christ and the peace that comes from this relationship. Thomas receives presence more than proof. He encounters God’s steadfast and eternal love, and this is so much more than the answers he had demanded. We are able to come to faith in this same way, as the living Christ continues to come and reveal this love for us, in us, and through us.
Like with Thomas and the first disciples, may we be given the grace to turn from our human arrogance and turn to the One who has opened the way to so much more. May our encounters with the living Christ move us beyond locked doors of fear, beyond our personal assumptions and biases that can cause harm, and into a commitment to love more fully, with patience, kindness, and with a humility that does not insist on its own way. May we be less focused on answers and more on questions that will lead us into life-giving relationships with those who come up with different answers than we do. This is the kind of believing that God wants for us.
At General Conference, delegate-disciples from around the world will be confined together in a room. There will be a diversity of answers proposed, along with a variety of expressions of faith. It will produce anxiety. It can also be seen as beautiful, with the possibility of being a life-giving witness to the world. May the living Christ, who is our peace, be encountered and may we all be moved to a bigger faith.
Connected In Christ 