This is hard! After 40 years, this is my final day of being a non-retired, appointed, “active” United Methodist pastor. I stood in the sanctuary and pondered, lamented, celebrated, and prayed that good fruit would come, somehow, from liturgies shared and words proclaimed. I drove by the hospital and thought of so many visits and prayers for healing grace trusting in God’s eternal love. I stood in the parking lot and gazed at the building we often call the church. So much energy was put into maintaining facilities in the hopes that God’s love would be discovered and cultivated, and that congregations would be inspired to do more than “maintain.” I laughed inside at the joyful thought of no longer worrying about whether the air conditioners would work on Sunday. “Not my problem,” as they say.
In doing some research last year, I was genuinely surprised to discover that I am the second longest serving non-retired elder in the Conference – and the longest serving elder from the former North Arkansas Conference. I do wonder how that happened. I stand amazed at all that has happened through these years – and how much I have changed. I am so blessed to have been (and continue to be) a part of this “partnership in the gospel,” to used Paul’s phrase.
As I take a moment for reflection, I must mention several beloved congregations – Maple Lane (in South Bend Indiana), First Russellville, Gardner Memorial in North Little Rock, St. Paul in Fort Smith, Conway First, and Jonesboro First. Serving as Pastor has been such an honor. I reflect with joy on how these congregations experienced growth, in numbers and spiritually as well. I am thankful to have been a small part of these blessings.
I think of my home church – Western Hills in Little Rock. This is where I experienced my first call to serve in this way – and I wrestled with this call for a long time – and in many ways still do.
Much of my ministry – and calling – has been devoted to cultivating relationships and callings among pastors – through Connected In Christ, Course of Study, Local Pastor Licensing School, the Board of Ordained Ministry and dCOM. This has brought much joy, and I love hearing the testimonies about the blessings of being involved in these endeavors.
In CIC, we did not see ourselves as just another continuing education program. Our unique role was to facilitate the connections needed for faithful and fruitful ministry. This ministry produced much good fruit – with statistics as a witness. I do remember giving a presentation on the growth we were seeing through CIC congregations, and a colleague pointed out that there is a difference between correlation and causality. Yes! But the hundreds of testimonies from clergy and laity were inspiring. I do wish we could find a way to put energy into this kind of intentional and comprehensive effort today.
If I could point to one thing as a highlight, it would be that moment at General Conference in 2024 when the word “incompatible” was removed from the Book of Discipline. It still brings tears to my eyes every time I remember it. It was an honor to work on this legislation, along with the work of strengthening our efforts to focus on virtues and callings that are life-giving to all –“fidelity, monogamy, commitment, mutual affection and respect, careful and honest communication, mutual consent, and growth in the grace and in the knowledge and love of God.” What blessings might come if our ministry focused on the cultivation of these values for all?
And now to share a disagreement with the Book of Discipline – and we can do that and still be among the beloved. Repeatedly the BOD describes clergy status within the Conference as either “active” or “retired.” I don’t like this. In good Wesleyan fashion, I want both/and. I want to be active. I want to serve. I want to continue to write and publish, teach and preach, and be a part of the ordering of the life of the Conference for faithful and fruitful ministry – as an active and retired member of the clergy.
Most of all I want to stay active in the calling that I have been given, echoed in the words of the Apostle Paul – to bear one another in love, with patience, kindness, and a humility that does not insist on its own way. Again, this is hard and life-giving. To do this, I want to continue to be a part of this “partnership in the gospel,” trusting in the blessings of much forgiveness and grace.
Connected In Christ 